Ahh, live cam sites. They're great, aren't they?
Nah.
Well, maybe one or two are pretty good. But generally you're wasting your time. Once you've seen a few of these performers you have, 99% of the time, seen them all. I mean, yeah, you get to watch a really hot man or woman perform for you. If you find one though that isn't half-asleep or doesn't look about as enthused as a chav in an art gallery then you have done VERY well indeed.
Just so you don't have to go wasting £34 per minute trying to see a woman get naked who is 16 years older than she says she is and about 13 stone heavier, I've compiled a list of Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Live Cam Sites But Were Afraid To Piss Away Your Overdraft On.
1) You will almost ALWAYS be greeted by, "Hi bb!" Now I presume 'bb' means 'big boy' but it could be a shortening from 'baby'. The former's a problem if you're a woman, obviously. Or a midget.
2) They'll usually ask you how you are. Then you might return the favour. Their reply will ALWAYS be, "Horny!" Well, isn't it a good job you caught them when you did! What are the chances of that?!
3) In this exact order they will ask you these questions - your name, your age and where you are from. They pretty much ALWAYS do this when you're in the paid bit and you're wondering when they will take their clothes off. They apparently couldn't ask these questions in the free area because they wanted you to see their excited reaction when you tell them that you're Dave, 36, and are a milkman from Chipping Sodbury.
4) Some will ask you what they can do for you. I don't like this question. It sounds like you're ringing up to ask a question about your gas bill. Well, gee, 'hotcamgurl69', I'm in a sex chat room with my willy in my hand and my pants round my ankles. Obviously I've come to ask if there are any delays on the Hammersmith & City line, innit?
5) When you have finished you might be wondering how to end the 'conversation' without seeming rude. I think that your best bet is to go for something dramatic like, "ARGH SHIT MY MUM'S BACK!" or "OH MY GOD MACGYVER'S ON! I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS EPISODE!"
You're welcome.
