The All-Star Anti-Blog Rant-A-Rama

I am so, so crap at updating this thing. I mean, what, 7 months and I couldn't come up with an entry for this damn thing? Pa-thetic. I know. So don't hold your breath that this is going to constitute a proper comeback.

But I do want to get something off my chest. And that is that most porn blogs are utter shit. I realise that this a bit like George Clooney saying films are bollocks or something (not that he would, being American, he'd probably say 'sucky' or something like that; also, in no way am I comparing myself to George Clooney), but they really are.

Have you ever read the copy in most of those things? If you do, you'll notice that they just can't seem to help mentioning CUMSHOTS every sentence even in places where LESBIANS might not make for a coherent sentence. BLOWJOBS.

They are, of course, just dumps for search engine terms and making money from links, but disturbingly for those of you, and we believe there are plenty of you out there, who actually want to read some entertaining stuff about porn, things are not likely to get better.

For instance, on an adult webmaster forum I was reading yesterday, I saw somebody advertising a program where webmasters no longer even have to write their blog entries! They just put a few keywords in some system, and it farts out an entry for them which will be perfect for search-engine optimisation matters.

Isn't this just a wonderful technological advancement? I mean, where will it end?

"Oh, that's okay, Mr King. We shan't be requiring any more multi award-winning novels from you. All we need is to input the words 'knife', 'murder', 'frightening' and 'Maine' into our engine, and we'll have the latest Stephen King book!"

It's a fucking crap state of affairs, this. Mind you, if a writer is too fucking lazy to get off his arse and write an entry from time to time, he can't very well complain, can he?

Oh.